Illogical Rest

by Keyoung

supported by
Vladimir Necovski
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Vladimir Necovski Been waiting for this for a long time & it's incredible. Favorite track: Crescent Tongues.
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04:00
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credits

released April 28, 2016

Produced and recorded at Charisma House Recordings

Album artwork by Annie Churdar

Photo by Richard Smith III

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Keyoung Columbus, Ohio

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Track Name: I to Me
Just a Midwest boy with shin splints mistook for growing pains
On the side just running wind sprints thinking I’m in a race
But the pace was set by shameful words
Clattering hooves of a demonic dirge
Heavy chains rattle from a wordless throat
Self-induced headaches from walls and knuckles
I prayed as a child to bring heaven to earth
As an adult I hoped to leave this world first
Chariot of fire ascension
Collapsed lung dissension
If it ended in new body redemption
Then they were synonyms in my brain

But the past dictates the present like a wound dictates the sting
Not a lesson I’d thought I swallow at the age of 23
It sat lead heavy at the bottom, starving man eating stones
found out you can look through windows if you’ve shut door


Mercy greater than judgement
Knowledge over hate
Love before emotion
Sincerity covers all mistakes

They say some will die a thousand times but I'm fine with passing twice
No more going out on broken limbs
I'm not just living now but I'm alive
When I was younger the thought of dying brought a smile of relief to my lips
Now a days it fills my soul with unease cus of life goals I'd have to miss
Nights occupied in discussion with my wife of what we'll name our kids
I want my skin to remember every scraped knee I have to kiss
Every report card and every lie my kids confess
Learning again how to be a conversationalist
When my child speaks the language of the Heavenlies
A reflection of a glass sea
In front of me reflected in whites of their eyes
Because the truth belongs to God
The yearnings of my heart are mine
I pray to the Father that even once in awhile the sun and moon align
But I'll let myself be eclipsed
I'm a tattered sail blown by the winds
Just a deceitful heart clinging to a promise given to it
So if I lay down tomorrow then I will gladly rest
My life's been a run on sentence in need of a period.


Mercy greater than judgement.
Knowledge over hate.
Love before emotion.
Sincerity covers all mistakes.
Track Name: Father's Lungs
I cannot pronounce the name of the city I was born to
But I know there is a story scratched into my eternity
It makes me sit without shifting
Meet the gaze of a stranger and let the corners of my lips to relax into a smile
Because I know
I don’t know much
I don’t know shit about marriage or how to change the fan belt in an engine but I can certainly learn because I know how a thing feels
You’ve felt it too
How it has shape and a barren smoothness, black as pitch
Terrible to observe
A weight that cannot be shifted between shoulder blades and not a thought can hold
But I’ve witnessed that feeling thing become submerged under a glow called phosphorus
“Bearer of light” when my white skinned grandmother kissed my sun burnt cheek
The weight shifts whenever I remember my father crossing the picket line at work despite the nails they hammered into the coffin of his reputation and the others they used to pop the tires of his 78 Thunderbird
This man told me after his father died "it's ok to cry" although my grandfather shed not a tear in front of the boy my dad was
Because hard men were scraped together by depression years and dust bowl fears
They were made to resemble the bomb shelters their daddy's dug to give them the shadow of safety
That shadow is all they ever chased not understanding that the Son is what gave those dark lines their shapes
So I'm allowed to stand in the peaks of calloused hands that came before me
To crouch in the twilight before the velvet crushed night
And claw like nails and knuckles on bedsheets during a fever induced dream in that magic hour
Unaware that we are only trying to catch a shimmer of the perpetual sunset heaven is
when we finally close tight our eyes to sleep
We take none of our bones with us
They clack like dice in our coffins
Trying to convince us life is all snake eyes bets
But I can't believe that
I still get so angry every day that it makes my tongue feel like a nest of barbs
I'm almost convinced they must show through my cheeks even when I attempt to swallow every single one of those sharp words
I've felt God's fingers be pricked by the nettles that once made bedding in my thoughts
Washing the whisper of wasp stings away
Proving through synapses and tissue there is true weight in faith
And that is where I wait still
I stand in the tension within the snapback of every handguns hammer
Before it clap cracks to it’s original place of rest
Filling the space and time between the nothing but air footfall
Of the last ledge before a final drop
Where every introduction I give comes out formed looking like an apology because I saw you standing there but greeting a stranger always seems like a waste of breath
Understand love is still filing down the hard edges pressures formed over the years
Please be patient with me
I'm still trying to trade my hard pressed diamonds for drowning waters that feel more like embrace
than suffocating mistakes
So here I am
Because hurry up and wait is the mantra that's burned into every kiss
Stay is the speech between each pair of lips
And my soul screams light-speed
Within each stationary prayer
The amount moved is mountains with each wordless utterance
While I stand perpetually blemished by time’s stain
No memory can scrub me clean
Hurry up and wait is the mantra
So here I am
ILLOGICAL REST.
Track Name: Blood Charm ft. David Powers & Becky Meadows
You’re the path left by twisted men
Doubled back trying to be straight again
Halos the size of greed
Flat earth spirituality
Can your pride pierce the clouds?
Your crossed fingers trace the truth now
All those tongue lashings only lead to a gnashing of teeth
Speaking in hushed tones doesn't add up to prayers to me
The ones destined for flames without the charm of grace
The sign of a cross more like the crossing of snakes
Rain dance for the crops that you store for yourselves
While your village is starving you hoard all the wealth

You can't roll
the stone away from your own grave
Wash your stains clean only on Sunday
Folding your hands to pray
To hide your hate isn't truth to me

I'm a bastard
A cynic
A blasphemer of truth
A mocker of beauty with the blackest of roots
The fruit that I bear only has venom for juice
We're both of one movement
An eclipse of the moon
You being my kin
Isn't the kind I want speaking for me
Your fangs betray the hate hidden in me
The dividends of sin
that's told in this pair of limbs
Heavy crown fashioned out of hatred, hammered in tin
But the breaking of sinew is not where atonement begins

You can't roll
the stone away from your own grave
Wash your stains clean only on Sunday
Folding your hands to pray
To hide your hate isn't truth to me

You can't roll
the stone away from your own grave
Wash your stains clean only on Sunday
No matter how I pray
To hide my hate
There's only one truth to me

Hallowed it be thy name.
Track Name: Crescent Tongues
No's and cannot's are merely trapdoors and invitations
A search for better reasons
Stumbling blocks for the naysayers
That dared to fathom that "not" words could knot enough negative thoughts to weigh your limbs to the floor but they are surely not enough
You stand with fingers like ivory keys
Each digits brush against the world
Makes a reverberation, a sweetest note that rushes like poured water through your being rippling the oceans between your bones lurching them forward into a kinetic battering ram of the purist freedom humming among your marrow
It tumbles from the perfectly shaped escape of your mouth
And that is some sort of truth
When you babysat you were always told to leave the houses better than when you first came
But your own room always looks more cluttered than the time you left it before
And there's iron shod roots beneath the basement that has a crashing spire ripped through the roof
But maybe it's more about how you organize the particulars than torching it all too soon

You say you've made mistakes but what's worse is to hesitate
To live inside the car crash fears of a heart that never tried to escape
To fear the torch you never lit
Sit in closed eyes punishment
Better to question your surroundings then sit closed lips and clenched fists

Sunday mornings tend to yield
Trepidation born of years
Expectations opinions mirrored
It doesn't have to be that way

It's not
Crescent tongues hiding darker halves of double sided speech
Tipping off the werewolf hearts they hide
Behind their double rows of teeth

We're all afraid of something
Fear is what you make of it
It's not just how your match-sticks lit
But who you call on to protect it
Track Name: Wildfire of Eden ft. Many Rooms
"I've never seen a wild thing feel sorry for itself."
Maybe it's not about the wilderness
But being tamed by someone else

I've missed sunsets my whole life
To be paid in swallowed stones that try to convince me I've been full this entire time
Never again will that be me
I'll let my tender thoughts grow free
Even if the prunings would be the death of me

If the sky doesn't crack open wide like the wound in Christ's side
I won't give up the ghost but grip it's hand tight
Exhale my mistakes make my way into the bright

Because it was a
Slow march to suicide
Coffins like church spires
In my mind
Year '11 on my hands and knees my body wracked like seizures
Meeting the Spirit in the back of my eyes

Rockslide monument beneath murmured misery
Mountain shift beneath placid glance

I wish every song wasn't my attempt for sympathy through others grief
Pile stones on me higher than my chest cavity
Weigh me in millstones so I can taste the salt between my teeth
(4 beats)
Find me East of Eden
Fig leaves over my eyes
Two tokens for my troubles
God sees me naked in lies
If I'm allowed in heaven
Pray my friends are by my side
Promised hinting of relief
Questions still squeeze
The life out of my lungs before I speak
I’ll burn myself in effigy
Light matches in my teeth
Greek Fire
Ceaseless burning
No cold could bring relief
If bodies are like signal flares
I hope it be
Enough to bring
You back to me


Die wild
Let me stand in the wilderness
Wildfire footprints all around
Die wild
I'll gladly spill the contents of my throat upon the scarlet ground
Die wild
It's not the contents of my pockets those things will never bring me peace
Die wild
The craftings of the tongue you thought would never cease


Find me East of Eden
Fig leaves over my eyes
Two tokens for my troubles
God sees me naked in lies
If I'm allowed in heaven
Pray my friends are by my side